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Dear Diary,

AUG 12 Moved to our new home in upstate New York. It is so beautiful here. The mountains are so majestic. Can hardly wait to see them with snow on them. I love it here.

OCT 14 Upstate New York is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are turned all the colors and shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through the beautiful mountains and saw some deer. They are so graceful, certainly they are the most wonderful animal on earth. This must be paradise. I love it here.

NOV 11 Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a gorgeous creature. Hope it will snow soon. I love it here.

DEC 2 It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed with white. It looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won), and when the snow plow came by, we had to shovel again. What a beautiful place.
I love upstate New York.

DEC 12 More snow last night. I love it. The snow plow did his trick again to the driveway. I love it here!

DEC 19 More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work. I am exhausted from shoveling. ****ing snow plow.

DEC 22 More of that white **** fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands from shoveling. I think the snow plow hides around the curve and waits until I'm done shoveling the driveway. *******!

DEC 25 Merry ****ing Christmas! More friggin snow. If I ever get my hands on that son-of-a-bitch who drives that snow plow, I swear I'll kill the bastard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt the ****ing ice.

DEC 27 More white **** last night. Been inside for 3 days except for shoveling out the driveway after that snow plow goes through every time. Can't go anywhere, car's stuck in a mountain of white ****. The weatherman says to expect another 10" of the **** again tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow 10" is?

DEC 28 The ****ing weatherman was wrong. We got 34" of that white **** this time. At this rate it won't melt before next summer. The snow plow got stuck up the road and that bastard came to the door and asked to borrow my shovel. After I told him I had broken six shovels already shoveling all the **** he pushed into the driveway, I broke my last one over his ****ing head.

JAN 4 Finally out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on the way back a damned deer ran in front of the car and I hit it. Did about $3,000 damage to the car. Those ****ing beasts should be killed. Wish the hunters had killed them all last November.

MAY 3 Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing is rusting out from that ****ing salt they put all over the road.

MAY 10 Moved to Georgia. I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would want to live in that God-forsaken state of New York.
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