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So miss my train by two minutes coming home from work (in NYC). Go to bar in Hoboken train terminal (NJ) to have a beer and wait for next train, about 1/2 hour away. The bar (The Railhead) is undergoing renovations and I'm sitting in a section that's hard to get by. Guy comes in, pleasant enough, puts his two hands on my shoulders and says "excuse me buddy, don't want any of me touching you". Fair enough. I move in and he gets by.

Immediately starts with the bartenders (both female, one older the other young and very hot). I hate you, you always ignore me, no I love you your so beautiful, yada, yada, yada. I move over one spot and put a barstool between us. Bartenders start to have enough of his antics and he looks at me, comes over behind me, puts both hands on my shoulders and says to the bartenders, see, this is a good guy, he doesn't mind me, and then turns to me "what's your name"?

I tell him to get his hands off of me. Now things are starting to get ugly. Continues with his hands on both of my shoulders, hey buddy, just asking for your name. I say again, get your hands off of me and leave me alone. Now he steps back, takes his hands off of me but continues to have them up about an inch away from my shoulders and he says, "now there off, what's your name?". I say, hey, not looking for trouble, just leave me alone. He says again "what's your name". I tell him I'm not going to tell him my name and leave me alone. He says, OK, how about I just smack you in the head. At this point I'm just staring at him in the eyes and not saying a word.

He backs off. Says, OK its not worth it and goes back to his seat. Bartenders at this point cut him off and say he's got to go. He then looks at me and says, hey Richie (not my name), I didn't mean anything. I don't acknowledge him, but keep an eye on him in the mirror. He puts back whatever shot he was drinking, throws it on the bar and storms out of there.

I wasn't carrying because of NYC and NJ laws. I guess its a good thing that things ended OK.

If I played along with him, things probably would have been fine. Just not playing those cards. What do you think? What would you guys have done differently?

Oh, normally I wouldn't have thought twice about this, but the guy did have a tattoo half way up his neck. Not that matters (yeah right).
 

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Sorry Man....I had a few too many and I thought that you would have recognized me. No hard feelings. \m/ \m/
 

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How would have carrying changed your actions in this scenario? (NOT snarky, just wondering for my own edification)

Be aware of your surroundings. Keep vigilant in protecting your personal space. Create distance when and where you can to provide reaction time. Nice job 'keeping an eye on him in the mirror'.

You did good.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
There was no where to go. He was behind me between the bar and a wall. He never reached down, but things might have ended very badly if he did and I was carrying.
 

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That's a good question. I really don't know. I guess it just depends on what the guy looked like and what kind of neighborhood I was in. That's a situation that I would have to be in to know. I'm sure there was a certain "vibe " you were picking up from the guy, or you may have just played along.
 

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You handled it pretty well. And again, I have to post, ask my why I will never set foot in that city.
 

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I don't know I've been a DD for some of my friends and I usually just go along with the weirdo drunks unless they start to do something really over the line, I probably would have told him my name and see what happens next, probably nothing much, as long as he didn't try cuddling up in my lap or something lol
 

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I'd have given him a fake name and avoided any possible chance of confrontation. Only because I don't know the guy and what he's capable of. Is he drunk because he just lost his job and his wife left him? If so, maybe he's feeling like he has nothing to live for. Or maybe he's completely harmless. Either way I avoid, avoid, avoid.
 

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I'd have given him a fake name and avoided any possible chance of confrontation. Only because I don't know the guy and what he's capable of. Is he drunk because he just lost his job and his wife left him? If so, maybe he's feeling like he has nothing to live for. Or maybe he's completely harmless. Either way I avoid, avoid, avoid.
I was just about to post 'fake name'. I have a standby fake name...If I had been carrying, I might not have been in the bar at all...
 

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from the sounds of it, i probably would have just played along a bit in a relaxed manner.
but i wasn't there and if i was actually in that exact circumstance,
maybe i would have done something similar to you, but that's not usually my style.

now days, i just try and avoid bars in general ha
 

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from the sounds of it, i probably would have just played along a bit in a relaxed manner.
but i wasn't there and if i was actually in that exact circumstance,
maybe i would have done something similar to you, but that's not usually my style.

now days, i just try and avoid bars in general ha
Same here........Too many freaks in bars these days.....
 

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Not sure? I am not one that likes to be touched by others even if i know the person but 2 hands on my shoulders i think the first time would of been WTF A-hole but thats me. would of turned around and told him to step back NOW. I think he would of got the point.
 

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The only thing I probably would of done different is what others said. I would of used a fake name and probably changed the subject to something else since he was drunk (assuming) I would of pretended like I wanted to show him something to get his hands off me so I could get up to show him. Then maybe point out something stupid in the renovation area lol.
 

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I think you handle it for the best outcome. If you gave him your name ( or fake ) you are befriending him and he would expect support from you. By being frim and moving a stool or two away you are sending him a message that you are not interested in what he has going on.
 
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