[Gunner57]

It has been known for many years that sex is good exercise, but until recently nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric expenditure of different sexual activities. Now after proprietary research they are proud to present the results.

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent....................... 12 Calories
Without her consent................... 187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands........................ 8 Calories
With one hand.......................... 12 Calories
With your teeth........................ 85 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection....................... 6 Calories
Without an erection................... 315 Calories

PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris............ 8 Calories
Trying to find the! G-Spot........... 92 Calories

POSITIONS:
Missionary.............................. 12 Calories
69 lying down.......................... 78 Calories
69 standing up........................ 112 Calories
Wheelbarrow........................... 216 Calories
Doggy Style............................ 326 Calories
Italian chandelier...................... 912 Calories

ORGASMIC:
Real................................... 112 Calories
False.................................. 315 Calories

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging.................... 18 Calories
Getting up immediately................. 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately......816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years old....................... 36 Calories
30-39 years............................ 80 Calories
40-49 years............................ 124 Calories
50-59 years............................ 972 Calories
60-69 years............................ 2916 Calories
70 and over............................ Results are still pending

DRESSING UP AFTERWARDS:
Calmly................................. 32 Calories
In a hurry............................. 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door... 1218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door.... 3521 Calories

 

[Tim]

I had to go look up italian chandelier (caution Urban Dictionary can be very NSFW depending on the definition you're reading)

Urban Dictionary: italian chandelier

 

[Petrov]

I had to go look up italian chandelier (caution Urban Dictionary can be very NSFW depending on the definition you're reading)

Urban Dictionary: italian chandelier

Fun thing to do to top things off, if you start with this legs arms and core muscles get tired out quick.

 

[Twogunwilly]

I prefer rodeo style. It's a variation of doggy but the object is to call her a different woman's name and see if you can ride til the buzzer. All women like that, don't be afraid to try

 

[JVG]

hilarious

 

[Darthgamer138]

What about...you know...spanking the monkey? :/

 

[Smurfette]

I had to go look up italian chandelier (caution Urban Dictionary can be very NSFW depending on the definition you're reading)

Urban Dictionary: italian chandelier

I'm in Monroe County and the same age group as you, is it possible this position is location/age restricted? Cause I had to look it up too.
/it's cause I am so innocent. Yep.

 

[Ragnar Danneskjold]

Can "Explaining why you got out of bed immediately..." be replaced with "Explaining how your bed is too small for two people to sleep comfortably and how it would be best for her to go sleep at her place?"

If so I think the 816 calories is lowballing it.